The last couple of months of this past year have been rather deflating for me. Our social life has consisted of doctors’ visits. Of course that’s the anticipated routine for Octogenarians. Each physician became a messenger of bad news for me. The ophthalmologist, during what I assumed was to be a routine visit, announced that my eyes were suddenly losing “optic fibers” and that he was referring me to a glaucoma specialist who subsequently announced, in passing, that my retina were “shot”.
Then a visit to my ENT revealed that I had suffered a measurable hearing loss in my left ear. Perhaps a tumor was the reason for this, but….for now…. he was reluctant to put me through the necessary tests . He commented that, at age 88, these losses were what I could reasonably expect. In fact, I had noticed a diminishing of strength and balance along with my eyesight and hearing.
I began to reflect on the condition of my own soul, beyond the state of my body. In a moment, I realized my spiritual slippage more than matched my bodily weaknesses. I was still trying to market myself; I was still diminishing Jesus in my daily life; I was still self-centered, often deaf and blind to His teachings and His example.
So here, today, at the beginning of a new year, I come back to Him, repentantly and apologetically. I return to Him when there’s absolutely nowhere else to go. And maybe you are like me. So let’s return together.
